Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Cardboard is good for dancing on and writing love notes on... Not for being made out of

I know this person who is so very stiff. She's so stiff that when she thinks something is funny, I'm uncomfortable.


Because it's weird...

To see cardboard laugh. And what does cardboard laugh at? Uh, well, things that most of the people in my life would say without a second thought. Because a second thought would imply, oooh, I was just funny right then.

The thing that pisses me off about cardboard people? Is that they are judgy. Judgy and usually a tad mean. Or a lot mean.

Hey cardboard people! You are only interesting when someone else puts something on you. When someone else's imagination and wonderment is projected onto you.

So don't judge me, cardboard people.

Also? You probably shouldn't blog, tell jokes or act like you are better than other people.

You should eat dry, plain baked chicken and white rice. Both things that are delicious, when imagination and wonderment are thrown all over them.

So yeah. Suck it cardboard, plain chicken, white rice people.

I think I should dub this "Suck it" week.

Eat your heart out Shark Week.

Although you? Shark Week? You are righteous too. I bet even cardboard people love you.

PS. This? This is one way that cardboard is delicious and precious.


Gypsy said...

I have a cousin who is slightly cardboardy. Well, maybe more like posterboard, since she's so very white and slick.

J said...

Cardboard people scare me. And I don't like the sound of them being ripped apart. It makes my belly button tingle.

Annabelle said...

I used to work with a woman who smelled like cardboard. And she was corrugated.

Immoral Matriarch said...

This is totally a euphemism for BROWN people isn't it?! Admit it Betsey!! :P

And it is a good medium for love anecdotes, if I do say so myself.

adrienne said...

yes, yes, yes!

up with cardboard love!

down with cardboard people!


Rassles said...

Does she smell like gravel? I'll bet she smells like gravel. I hate them gravel smellers.

Gwen said...

I don't know any cardboard people. Or maybe I just don't realize that they are cardboard.

Isn't your David Hasselhoff a cardboard person? He's pretty cool.

Tuesday Girl said...

I know Condy Rice is cardboard.

flutter said...

Cardboard people taste like bad frozen pizza.

Mongoliangirl said...

Now I can't stop thinking about how much I love cardboard for helping Hellbilly and I move out here to BFE.
But, you know, that's just the boxes I'm grateful for. Not the cardboard sonsabitches that couldn't bother themselves with lifting a finger to help us out.
But they do like to come out here and oohh and ahhh over the horses.
I bet that one filly of ours could be trained to attack cardboard.

sid said...

I love how Rassles classifies people according to smell. What the hell is shark week?

The Gonzo Mama said...

Obviously, my mad breakdance skills look the hotness, but I don't need it in my social life.

I used to think Mr. Wright's ex might be cardboard, but now I know she is pure demon spawn, which makes life a lot more interesting and dynamic.

ToriDuck said...

But what about the Hoff??? can we pretend hes made of cookie dough..edible :)

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