Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Subtlety Was Never My Strong Suit And Do I Have Excess Spit Or What?

As I promised, here is video of me awkward talking. Things you might notice in this video:
1) You can see the really cool combination of flat and fuzzy that my hair takes on when I've been standing out in the misty rain because my car wouldn't start.

2) I seem to have some kind of a salivating problem because I swallow an awful lot.

3) I just said swallow an awful lot.

4) I'm obviously NOT a hipster. Mostly, because I drive a foreign four-door sedan and then because there is a car seat in the back seat. Also? I only drink PBR when it's a dollar at the local bar. Oh and I hate righteous microbrews and look horrible in skinny pants. I do wear Chuck Taylors but I've done that since I was 14. My hair is never artfully messy and if I look glazed over it's because I might not be very bright. Bleach has evidently done something to my brains and made my insides a dark, dark place. And that's okay.

It's okay because I don't act righteous and then go around getting all up in everyone's face and making comments about how hateful people below the Mason Dixon line are. I love my Southern buddies. Also? I don't go around telling people how awesome I am and exactly why they should pay me, nor do I keep everyone else to a standard I can't seem to maintain myself. Oh and I talk about finger banging so you know, it's got to be interesting at least.

video

33 comments:

Mr Lady said...

If hipster have roots then I AM KING OF ALL HIPSTERS. Bow to me, woman.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

You just made me burn my hipster burgers watching your video. They're turkey burgers. That's pretty hipsterish of me, right?

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Any girl who can nonchalantly talk about finger-banging with her kid's carseat in the backseat is my fucking hero. You rock, honey. Let the haters keep hatin'. I've got a new t-shirt idea: Hipster Haters Need a Good Finger Bang.

Gypsy said...

So, I won't be able to get this thing to play until I'm at work tomorrow because my home computer is so from the pleistocene (<-- I totally spelled that right the first time).

Also, who has gone and mocked the south? Tell me. I won't slap them, because I'm far too ladylike and polite, but I will passive aggressively bad-talk them with condescending little barbs and backhanded compliments 'til the south rises again, which we all know is never because we're so durned slow 'cause of the heat.

Solanaceae said...

I'm sorry but how in the name of all that is holy F does someone not know what finger-bang means/is? South Park anyone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O37DFSa7fs

for a different kind of girl said...

Seriously, my roots are so crazy, I'm pretty sure the astronauts up in the space station can see them. I think that makes me queen o' the hipsters. Is there any finger banging involved in getting a crown to cover up my challenged follicles?

ajillofalltrades said...

That was so hip and deserves some fingerbanging.


Lady, you crack me up.

Some people are such idiots.

Sarah said...

You are AWESOME.

Rassles said...

You are such a hipster.

That Chick Over There said...

I just love you. That's all.

Carrie said...

Too cute, love the vlog... and that internet bitch can suck it! She's just jealous.

Gypsy said...

Ok, I got to work and watched your vlog and you're just darling. That's all I have to say.

erin said...

Where's the blog?!
If I tried to do my makeup like that I would end up looking like a granny...or a tranny. You'll have to do a vlog makeup tutorial for me. ;)

J said...

Just one more reason why I love you so much!

You need to be pretty on the inside too, huh? Whoever that was doesn't really know you at all.

Mongoliangirl said...

Betsey, Betsey, Betsey! Betsey doodle! Awesome!
You are the queen of all that is awesome!
I am going to be asking you how to vlog. I promise I will never subject my readers to this, but need it for an equine instruction video. I know! Sounds goooood doesn't it!
And now I must run. Time to finger bang the garage.

Gypsy said...

All this finger banging is frankly getting me a little hot.

ghost of keywork said...

I haven't seen that much swallowing since my first stint in college. Wow. You was real popyoular growin up weren't ya?

Um, sorry. I'm trying to keep my fingers in non-bang mode, and they are revolting against my keyboard. That's what we'll call it.

Gwen said...

I love you so much, I don’t think I’d love you half as much without the hair bleach. True story.

Happy Birthday CMJ!

Fingerbangya later.

rachie! said...

Some people are such assholes! You finger bang everyday for me.

DPH made me lose friends on facebook, so how's that for awesome?

IB said...

I always wanted to be a "hipster" but I don't have the fashion sense for it.

Cool "vlog". I was going to do one myself, but I'm sure I would just freeze and stare at the web-cam blankly while drooling(of course, there might be some entertainment value in that).

MommaKiss said...

First? Totally love that you were driving whilst videoing. That is hip. Second, happy 2nd birthday to CMJ. Awesome.

prayingtodarwin said...

You are so freaking likable on video, you need to have some sort of talk show, or something.

Also, despite reading AAYSR, following both you and The Other Person on Twitter, I STILL don't get what you "did". Whatever.

"I finger banged my race." Fuck, I'm cringing for that woman. But still, how do you get this far and not know?

ghost of keywork said...

I'm getting 'I fingerbanged my Race' tattooed on me somewhere, somehow.

formerly fun said...

Like Ginny, I am still in the dark about exactly what you did to deserve being singled out, oh and yeah, the personal attack. And seriously, hair bleach can only get you so far? Actually, hair bleach can only bleach your hair and uh, maybe ruin the shirt you had on, and your bathroom rug, oh, and sting when it gets in your eye or if you put it too close to your scalp, but it doesn't really get you anywhere.

Gwen said...

You are such a pretty person, inside and out. Loved, LOVED, the video blog. I hope you do more.

Miss Yvonne said...

Okay, I got all excited about your video blog and was telling my husband about it on the phone and I was all "She is even cuter on video and her hair is awesome and she swallows a really lot!" and my husband was all "Wait, she swallows a lot?" and I was all "Ooh ooh your mom!!" and he was all "Tell me her blog name again?" and then I realized he was going to come over here and watch you swallow, so I hung up on him.

The End.

hereinfranklin said...

That was great. Mean people suck. For the record, my roots are so bad right now that I'm considering going brunette...or at least, less blonde.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Rachie, I didn't make you lose shit! You're niece is a whore with a huge asshole, that's why she un-friended you. Actually, her asshole un-friended you. Whore.

Sarah said...

You are too cute. Seriously.

Blues said...

Is there seriously a person alive that cannot put finger and bang together visually in their mind and get what it might mean? Love the video, what a treat to put a voice to a voice.

punxxi said...

jeebus keyrist i'll be on social security next year and i have known what fingerbangin meant since i was 10...wotta tool! you are adorible,btw.

maggie, dammit said...

YOU ARE ADORABLE.

Punk Rock Dad said...

So I guess this "person" whats you to change who you are and such? S-C-R-E-W that noise yo! You keep being you. I think I have roots as well my 10 inch mohawk is two different colors....think I should change? NAH!