Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Have Found My New Favorite Person

With not a drop of Diet Coke to be found in the house this morning, I made my way to the drive through at the local McJerk's. The placebo effect of the Diet 7*up that I did have was only going to last so long.

I ordered my fruit and yogurt parfait and large Diet Coke and proceeded into the converging drive thru (it has to be spelled this way, the sign says so)lane because this McD's is all fancy with two lanes to order in. Pulling up to the window I reach out my hand full of my debit card and see neon pink and green acrylic nails on the end of a heavily tattooed hand, which was connected to a wrist with a tattooed chain wrapped around it. Looking into the face of the owner of the hand, I smiled at the crinkles around the corners of the 60-something year old that greeted me with a smile.

That's right, Grandma. You rock those jobstoppers! Because you, my friend, are my new favorite person.

And, I've decided that I hate my purse. If I see one more dumb broad carrying one just like it, I'm going to lob mine directly at their head. But only after I get my monkey wallet out of it.

PS. I should add that my new least favorite people are the two dip shits at the pizza joint yesterday, who obviously went to lunch together and then sat at the table across from each other, talking in loud, girly voices to other people on their cell phones through the whole meal.

11 comments:

Rassles said...

I feel like she's a celebrity or something. What brings a marvelous woman such as her to the drive thru? What was her inspiration? Is she seeing anyone?

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Omg, that's going to be me one day. You know, minus the McD's thing, cause I know how to properly apply for a job.

erin said...

My grandma is the official 'greeter' at my dad's pharmacy. I think she's supposed to be a clerk, but she just talks to people for a couple hours and goes home. This story has nothing to do with the totally rocking tattooed grandma...

Gypsy said...

You think she has a story to tell, or what? She's probably fascinating as all get out.

Betsey Booms said...

That's my take on it.

I want desperately to see her in her street clothes and not that uniform and visor.

I wonder if her grandkids trace the ink on the back of her hand with their little chubby fingers.

J said...

That's awesome. I never would have guessed that it was a grandma who was behind the tattoos and nails. It also makes me wonder if she has a completly innocent name like Jane or something, or if she calls herself Roxxy or something.

PS. What color is your purse? For some reason all I can imagine you carrying is something with black and white stripes.

Logical Libby said...

Wow. The lady at my McDonalds drive thru just has meth teeth and no sense of humor.

Miss Yvonne said...

I REALLY want to see a picture of your purse now...just to be sure I'm not carrying the same one so you don't throw it at me when we meet in a few months.

Mojo126 said...

I loved this.

Mongoliangirl said...

I am practicing now to be grandma in the future. Except for working at McJerks. McJerks is yukky.

Blues said...

I want to see the purse.