Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Did That Thing Where You Tell Someone About Your Blog And Then They Have To Read It

I do this thing when I get drunk and tell people about my blog. And then I always regret it the next day. The good news is THIS TIME, I don't regret it at all. My friend Tiffany is going to be reading and I'm sure SHE will regret that shit soon.

But I know her husband and I know that she has a lot more to regret in life than this.

However, she's probably going to be confused about a few things.

Let me provide a little key to reading my blog. I write about a few things a lot.

Zombies - I have a weird fascination with zombies. She'll understand, she knows Mr. Boom's when he's been drinking.

Robots - They are crazy cool and when they take over the world I want to be on their good side.

Shivs - When robots take over the world, or I end up in prison because of something Jason has done, I will want to be as schooled on shivs as possible. So I talk about those a lot. I'm still not down with how to keister stash one though.

Joaquin Phoenix - I don't know. He's just really weird and cool. That's all.

Teen Wolf - Teen Wolf will be saving the world when the robots take over. It's the only explanation for why Teen Wolf has had a resurgence and this is the Year of Teen Wolf.

Air-punching - It's the universal signal for kicking fucking ass. Who doesn't get this?

Being a rail riding, breakdancing hobo who is a master of skullfuckery - Wow, that's kind of a long story.

Billy Idol - The king of air-punching.

Saying things about Jesus that are bad.

Other random things:

Kenny Rogers
Wolf Nuggets
Monster Squad
Mr. T

You know, looking over this list I now realize there is no real help for me. My mind is a strange and dark place. Which is mostly okay by me, but if you're reading my blog and enjoying it, you are screwed.


erin said...

I just wrote about Kenny Rogers a few posts ago...and suggested songs by him...
Remember when he had breast cancer?

IB said...

I got drunk once and told my best friend about my blog. Then I emailed him the link. 6 weeks went by and he never said a word. Turns out he "forgot" about it. Talk about a kick in the nards!

Gypsy said...

I just about quoted The Gambler for a blog title the other day. 'Cause you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Yeah it can be embarrassing after 3 glasses of wine with your uppity friends to mention your diarreah (sp? really that's a hard one) of the mouth blog. They read it like watching a car wreck...

Rassles said...

I would say that nearly all of my good friends know about my blog, and read it at least occasionally. But it also started as like, a record of our exploits. Basically they just read it on Mondays to see if I wrote about them over the weekend.

and: Fuck yes. Awesome.

Gwen said...

People I know read my blog so I try to limit the crazy. Yeah, I limit the crazy, which is pretty fucking scary. I have my own, strange twisted world which most people wouldn't get.

So I love your blog and your zombie obsession, et al, though I don't always understand it. But I want to. That's got to count for something, right?

Scandalous Housewife said...

It's even worse when you have business cards with your blog name and you pass them out in a drunken stupor. Trust.

rachie! said...

ohhhh business cards for my blog, that's a fine idea.
You are a master of skullfuckery, leave the keister stashing to me.

Miss Yvonne said...

I want to tell my friends about my blog so badly....but I know they'll never see me the same way again, so I don't. It's better to become friends with the people who read my blog before meeting me in person. That way I know they're already bat-shit crazy.

P.S. Ruby, don't take your love to town.

The Redheaded Lefty said...

You should know that my 2 yr old knows every word to The Gambler. And I love your blog AND I am dark, too. Isn't everyone? Smiles.

Mr Lady said...


That is all.

for a different kind of girl said...

Your list is bliss. I seriously can't find a flaw in it. I mean, sure, keister stashing is flawed. That's without question. Other than that, zombies rule, and I suppose they'd air punch to prove just how much they do, but there's a good chance their arm will fall off if they do, so, like your list, I do not fault them, either.

I feel like I riddled this with a zillion commas.

Mongoliangirl said...

Well, I must be fucked. Mostly because I seriously enjoy your blog Mizz Betsey.

Pam said...

well, I have been reading since around the time you started blogging---what does that say about me??? :)

Brandy Rose said...

When I first started writing my blog, I got drunk one night (in particular for this story) and told everyone...and I mean everyone at the bar about it.

Bluestreak said...

I´ve made that mistake a lot. No more though. No more drunk bloggy talk. Shut me the fuck up.