Friday, March 6, 2009

My Pants Hate Me

I don't have a lot of time today because I've wasted a good portion of my morning sobbing and pulling every. single. clothing. item. out of my closet and throwing it back in.

I was the girl that I totally hate this morning.

Moving on, I'm going to keep this really short and bitter.

To my pants I just have one thing to say. Fuck you pants.


PS - Oh and to the cupcake that I ate at 10:30 last night...

You were delicious, you mother fucker. That's why I gave your twin brother to my daughter this morning. I'll show you, asshole cupcake.

12 comments:

for a different kind of girl said...

I raised my fists to the sky last night and cursed Tin Roof Sundae ice cream. I'm dreading the pantsing job I must soon do.

hereinfranklin said...

The worst thing is--at least if you're me--when you get home tonight all those clothes will be lying in a heap on the bed and on the closet floor anywhere else they happened to land.

Rassles said...

A new cupcake place opened up near my work, because you know how cupcakes are all the rage right now. Anyway, they have two things that all cupcakes should have:

1. A fucking happy hour with free cupcakes for all.

2. A chocolate bacon cupcake.

I'm going tonight. So yeah, I'll have hateful pants too.

calicobebop said...

Cupcakes = crack. I hate pants too. Long live sweats!

Miss Yvonne said...

You know who else are assholes? French fries. Those bastards really piss me off.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

My fat pants have been pulled out of hiding and are currently on my fat ass.

Stupid winter coat.

pj said...

This is my first trip to your blog! I will be back for more.

Chris said...

More to love!

mongoliangirl said...

All winter I told myself, "Ohhhh...you're just a big ol' hibernating bear cub! Eat, snuggle up, read a book, eat some more."
Fuckin' pants. I'm even wearing a sports bra today that is about to crush my rib cage.

gullybogan said...

Down with pants!

Bring back the Empire waist, i say!

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

This is exactly why I hate casual Friday. I don't want to wear jeans to work...I want to wear yoga pants. Also, I've been going to the gym for 6 weeks and I got nothing. I'm just offsetting my increased beer intake. I may have to actually stop eating fish sandwiches from Wendy's. WTF?

Gypsy said...

I'm pretty sure cupcakes are God's perfect food. Or maybe Satan's. Sometimes it's so hard to tell.