Friday, February 6, 2009

The other day Jason's co-worker wrote me and asked me what kind of make-up I used and if I could offer her any tips for applying it because my face is always "flawless".

So the chick is obvioulsy delusional or her taste is all in her mouth. Whatever.

Jason cannot stand her and thinks she is a total slackass, but she's always been pretty nice to me and I happen to know that they are on the verge of losing their house and her husband is out of work.

She mentioned that she had her reunion coming up and that she was feeling old (39). It seemed I had sat into a situation where I could do some good. About damn time.

So sitting at my desk at work, I pulled out my make up bag and carefully laid out the products I use and how I apply them, adding in more detail than I ever really spend on my face, as I have Satan's little helper attached to my leg most mornings.

I told her of my Rimmell powder ($3.99), my L'Oreal foundation and lipliner and even of the awesome Maybelline mascara ($6.99) I found that is kick ass in ways bat guano was never meant to be. And I treading lightly as I told her that I splurge on my moisturizer with Estee Lauder's Day Wear ($45).

Feeling all crazy good about myself I clicked send and promptly forgot about it.

Fifteen minutes later she responded with:

"Well I only use MAC or other really expensive products. Have you heard of it?"

I responded back:

"Not only have I heard of it, but so has every old ass drag queen. Good luck at your reunion, I imagine most of the men will be bald at your age. And I would go on to bet that if any of them have heard of MAC, they look better than you too."

I'm taking my shiv the next time I go to Jason's office.

15 comments:

Sarah said...

"... but so has every old ass drag queen" ha! ha! ha! Some people don't know gratitude. Either that, or they need someone to check over their emails before they send them.

Day said...

HA HA! What an ungrateful hag! I hope she ends up looking like Dame Edna for her reunion!

Anne said...

Wow! How ungrateful can you get?
Did she reply?

Sheri said...

WOW... I am speechless. What a *BLEEEEEEEP*! Sorry, I hope no children were around to hear that. Definitely take the shiv.

Man, I just don't get people and their hang ups on brands. I also get compliments on my make-up from people, especially my "flawless" skin. I say thank you while laughing to myself about how it is all hidden so well by the same Revlon Colorstay foundation I have been using for 15yrs and cheapo Covergirl powder. I am not about to shell out money for shit that doesn't do what I want.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

And that's exactly why I love you Betsey Booms. Cause not only did you insult her, but you made her feel like an asshole.

Allie said...

The funniest part about that is that most makeup is made at the same manufacturing plant and they just package it differently. When I was a makeup artist I learned that MAC is the biggest rip off, but I agree with you, who wants to look like a drag queen anyway?

That Chick Over There said...

Bwah!

Miss Yvonne said...

I heart you. SO. MUCH.

hereinfranklin said...

Stupid cow. Everybody know you either ARE flawness or you're NOT.

kimberly-327 said...

Christ, I'm a MAC whore, but that's only a splurge for eyeshadow; the rest of their shit sucks hard. I'll use pretty much anything if it's pretty.

If she only uses MAC then she should have WENT to MAC and asked them to help her. What an ungrateful twat.

Lisa..... said...

Funny. I like that you have the balls to say that to her.

gwen jackson said...

Wow. I am speechless. I actually want to call her the bad, bad word usually reserved for the most disgusting woman. But I will refrain. I'm glad you put her in her fucking place. I despise woman like that. Woman who think they're somehow better than the rest of us because we don't shill out thousands of dollars on over-priced handbags and facial products. And the "have you ever heard of it?" - that had my blood way above boiling.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

that is awesome, nice response!!!

SassyGinger said...

you are too funny!!! i'll admit i use MAC eyeshadow like its nobodys business (and i am really excited for their hello kitty collection) but drugstore makeup really is the best for everything else. if she's on the verge of losing her house maybe she needed that slap in the face so she can learn to be a bit more frugal.

ajillofalltrades said...

I love MAC!!! :)

If she's about to lose her house, and MAC is all she will use/buy, then maybe she should consider selling her beloved makeup collection to pay her mortgage.