Yesterday I decided that you can spray Febreeze on anything...
Cats.
Fish.
Toddlers.
Dead hookers under your bed.
You know, whatever.
That's all.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Carry On
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12 comments:
I think Febreeze is one of the best inventions ever. You can also spray stinky boyfriends with it.
I'm going to start insisting on royalties if you're going to turn all of our pillow talk into blog posts.
That's right.
Ok, I won't. And the dead hooker was already smelly by the time I got home. That bottle of febreeze did not work. Luckily, I just dumped her on my neighbor's door step with yesterday's paper.
Also works on stinky husbands, cat barf stains and toddler pee leaks on the mattress.
And I thought the PC term was sex worker? I wonder when that will not be enough and they'll have to be Ejaculatory Assistants?
Looks better on a resume.
I will have to try Febreeze next time I have to hide a dead hooker, the smell is just so hard to cover up!
If you haven't seen Four Rooms you need to. That's all.
HA!!! You can spray it on stinky toddlers, but if you don't change the source of the stink, it doesn't help much--that's the ONLY drawback! I love the stuff--thinking about trying it on my daughter's morning breath--think that will work?
Fucking A! We have to have a PC term for 'hooker' now?! What the hell?
Also, just so you know. Sometimes, it is a good idea to actually locate the source of nasty smells instead of just continuing to spray Febreeze every few days. Unless, you want to go through lots of Febreeze. Although, in my defense I thought it was dog stink that made the living room smell. I had no idea there was a several month old cup of milk under the sofa.
You forgot to mention zombies, but I'm sure that goes without saying.
I spray that shit like crazy under Nicholas' bed, I swear he keeps dead bodies under there, maybe I should check and see if it's a hooker? He's a little young for that though.
Will it work on dead pimps too? Cause I got a little problem I need to take care of....
Febreeze helps me stay in denial. I don't want to know what the stink is.
I've Febreezed my dog's butt before.
Yeah. I'm admitting it.
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