Thursday, February 12, 2009

Have you ever tried to name a company? Well, have you?

In the always exciting, rarely disappointing land of Booms, big happenings are going on. My ever-driven, hates working for The Man, wants to be The Man-husband is possibly launching his own company.

I, personally, think he's just sick of working with ass-faced whores.

In this endeavor he has acquired a partner and one of the first hang-ups they've run into is naming the company, so you know who they've turned to. Ahem.

With my offering of Zombie with a Shiv, LLC turned down, I came back with Teen Wolf Town and was again shot down. The hell? So obviously I'm dealing with some finicky mofo's here. That was my best stuff! I thought about busting out OLLCJ, LLC but that seemed kind of confusing.

Obviously, I was going to have to stretch my creative legs and get a little more, uncreative. In a moment of greatness I came up with Monarch Property Solutions.

Bitchin', right?

Wrong, so bitchin' it's taken. Well not the solutions part, but you know, the rest of it.

So this crap is keeping us awake at night and no one, I mean no one or thing keeps me from sleeping. Last night I tossed and turned, names spinning around inside my mind. Suddenly, I jolted awake and sat up in a flash of genius, I had it!


Wait, what? What the fuck is that about? SugarPapas? They are accountants not pimps.

Hmmm, I don't think I can convince them to start a pimp business, and Jason looks horrible in big hats with feathers, back to the drawing board. So back to sleep I went. I tossed and I turned, I flipped and I flopped and suddenly there it was!


Man, that's just stupid. Maybe they could take up drug sniffing and be Mo-Narcs. Missouri's best drug finding freaks.

As it turns out, I really suck at this. I suck hardcore at this. Especially? When I'm trying to sleep.

On my drive in to work today, I thought of another one that just might work. However, despite how uncreative I am, I know that quite a few ultra-creative people read this.

If you have a bitchin' name for a property management company, throw it out there. And it has to be better than:

Radd Property Solutions. Which I thought of already, mostly because I just wanted to answer the phone that way.

But if you offer up a name and we end up using it or some version of it, we'll send you something reaaaaal niiiiiiice, Clark.

So, any thoughts?


melanie said...

I always thought if I had a band or a company I'd name it Native Fruit. It always makes me giggle for some reason. Just throwin' that out there for ya. :)

Lily's Mommy said...

I think you should play to your strengths and go with Big Boobs Property Services. After all, there is a Big Boy Steel Erection Inc. No word of a lie.

Allie said...

Premium Property Solutions?
Prime Property Solutions?
Sterling Property Solutions?
Super Cool-Ass Property Solutions?

Was the last one too much?

Betsey Booms said...

Um no, Allie, that last one is pretty much as good if not better than anything I've come up with!

Kat said...

I rock at this.

Superior Property Management Solutions, LLC

Property Management Professionals, LLC
(OOh, added benefit of this one, initials are PMP... )

Property Management Specialists (no, wait, that's PMS, no good...)

Expert Residential Management

Powerhouse Property Management

Master Property Management

Superior Property Supervision

Ok, I'm fresh out.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Flock of Seagulls Management

Was Blind, Now I See Numbers

Poontang Pi Management

I could go on for hours.


Marion in Savannah said...

Expanding on Kat's suggestion:

Property Investment Mangement Professionals, LLC.

Even better initials: PIMP

(At one point the ex- and I had a plan for a huge model railroad named Scrooge & Marley Universal Traction, or SMUT. The fun we had naming stuff...!)

Chris said...

Well it's real estate we're talking about right? How about Sink Hole Investments or Big Fat Gaping Maw LLC, where your money goes in and never comes out.

rachie! said...

I always wanted to name a company Pheonix something, not because of the city, but the bird. Which brings me to wonder, why are the Phoenix Suns the Suns? Why aren't they the Phoenix Pheonixes? And why isn't the city spelled the same way as the bird?
But I suppose Pheonix Property Management might not be good due to the whole rising out of the ashes stuff...

Miss Yvonne said...

I got it.

Shiv You Like A Hurricane Property Management Company, LLC

Dan said...

No real good names. I've been through this process with 10 different companies and it never seems to be easy. All the good ones are already taken seems to be the motto of the day.

Not sure what state you are in, but some states have a personal name exemption. I.e if your real name is Bountiful Pirate, you can register Bountiful Pirate, LLC even if it is already registered so long as no area of business confusion arises.

I'll leave you with the only really useful advice I ever got - if you find that your choice is registered already, check to see if the registrant will sell it to you for a nominal sum. There are a lot of names that are no longer in productive use that can be obtained reasonably.

Maree said...

NOT Stupid Butt Monkeys--that's already taken by our property management company--the people who work M-F, 10-5, but are never there or answering phones during business hours. Must be nice!!

Best of luck to you!

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Excel Property Mgt...see how it says something nerdy and all accounting in it AND hints that this company strives to be the best?? I win.

Anonymous said...

Gah--back in my ad agency days we were always having to name shit--new bank accounts, new inedible shit on the menu at O'Charleys, new property developments.

That Chick Over There said...

If I ever had my own company I would call it 3 Time Loser.

But that's just me. You guys aren't losers.

Amy Prather said...

Cirrus Property Mgmt. - like the highest cloud in the sky? LOL You have to be high anymore to get a good name....

Serious Property Mgmt.

Serious Skills Prop. Mgmt. - I'm sure the Napoleon Dynamtie fans would dig it...

DeLorean Property Mgmt... LOL

Small Wonder Prop. Mgmt.....

Ummm - do you want any more 80's ideas? I'm on a run... LOL Just kidding...

okay wait - one more - what about

Garbage Pail Property Mgmt? I mean - it COULD appeal to even BUMS! WHOOO!