Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I Do Parties

First, let me start off by saying thank you to all of you who showed concern or shared your thoughts regarding the hand print on my sons chubby-ass face.

I'm totally going with my gut on this one. When I talked to her this morning she started to cry, again and Crazyman laughed and smiled at her and went to her with a big hug.

As it turns out, I may have just been jealous that I didn't get to slap him in the face and come up with a really good excuse myself. AND THAT IS FREAKING SARCASM PEOPLE. Don't file any reports or anything. I don't want to hit my kids, I just want to give them cookies until they are quiet and that is why our prison systems are chock full o' mama's boys. I love my kids, they are masters of all things rock.

And because blogging has like all this etiquette and stuff that just like everything else in life, I'm woefully lousy at, I didn't get a picture of the hand print so I decided to do an artist's rendering and you will note that I use the term "artist" loosely. Also? My phone is ringing off the hook this morning and I have all this proof-reading and editing to do (which is ridiculous considering the state of my blog) so I took all of 5 seconds to do this. It took me longer to get the cap off the marker than it did to draw it.

And because I'm like 95% of all other Americans I felt bad about his face and then felt bad about feeling bad and then decided to drink a beer or 7 and eat really bad tacos and have long detailed conversations with really nice bloggers that may or may not have called me out unfollowing them on Twitter. So here is a portrayal of my night last night as a whole.

You're very welcome.

Feel free to click on them to see them enlarged. I don't suggest it. And yes, I'm so available for parties.

Oh, you know it's a total curse being this talented.

Edited: Oh and I have no idea why my husband appears to have lost his ears overnight.

EDITED AGAIN: To tell you about the coolest hackers, EVER! I want them to come to my house for dinner. As long as they don't eat brains or me.


rachie! said...

i didn't get to do much blog reading yesterday so I had to catch up today, but I can imagine your anger, even knowing the lady was telling the truth. As I think about my 4 month old fetus, I'm pissed at that lady. But maybe that has more to do with fetus' inability to run into said hand.
Glad the taco worked out for you. Give Jason some lovin', he looks awfully sad in that last picture.

Anonymous said...

Nice boobies!!

Oh that poor blog etiquette? Would tits be better? How about funbags? Fluffy Pillows?

I've never been one to bite my tongue on much of anything, so along with that I just don't worry what others think.

Not many can handle that.

I love sarcasm!

Rassles said...


Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

LMAO, oh god...that's some good shit.

And I love that you drew boobs on yourself.

J said...

Is CrazyMan okay? That totally sucks.

PS. You draw like Picasso. It's worth money, I tell ya.

Pam said...

You crack me up! I love that you drew boobs! but, uh, considering the current state of my stomach- I'm totally skipping over the taco stuff

Gwen said...

LOL at "Not a shiv" - just, freaking awesome.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Dude, those hackers are awesome. They're now going on my back up free pass ass list.

Betsey Booms said...

My favorite part of the hackers story was where they said...

"It's sort of amusing but not at helpful."

Miss Yvonne said...

OMG, the zombie with 1/2 an arm is awesome and totally scary.

I am Trish Marie said...

Glad that everything worked out!

And, um, awesome pictures. Those are nice tits you have.

Lisa..... said...

Okay, tell me how you are doing that?? Did you draw that and scan it, or did you draw it on the computer? Maybe I am dumb and everyone else knows, but my stepson makes comics and I bet he would love to put them on the computer.