Friday, June 19, 2009

UPDATED!! We'll always have Hasselhoff

"Hello?"

"I just passed a garage sale and they had a 6 foot tall cardboard cut out of David Hasselhoff, in full Knight Rider gear. Should I turn around? Should I get it?"

"Shut up! Of course you should get it. Are you crazy? Turn around."

"Alright, oh shit, hold on... Okay, I'm back on the road, I'll get it."

***

"Hello?"

"Man."

"What?"

"It was Elvis."

"It was Elvis? How the hell do you think that Elvis is David Mah'Fucking Hasselhoff?"

"I don't know, I drove by quick and turned and... Well, I think I just wanted it to be the Hoff."

"You totally did! What a let down."

"No kidding, my Hasselhoff dreams are ruined. I was already thinking of all the things we could do together. Just me and the Hoff."

"Ah, honey, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's just that he was wearing leather and I thought it was Knight Rider, but it was the King."

"Jason..."

"Yes?"

"I know you're sad. But, I promise. I'll make my life's goal to find you a 6 foot tall cut out of David Hasselhoff."

"Ok. You know, I think if I just had a cheeseburger, I might be okay. But, I seriously was thinking of all the things we were going to do together."

"I know babe, let's cue the montage of you and David running down the beach together. Perhaps having coffee. I love you."

"I love you too."

"We'll get through this. I promise."

"Yeah, we'll always have the Hoff, if only for a minute."


***

After hearing my story, my bosses decided to take pity on us and printed and mounted the Hoff head on a board for us. Oh the places we will go...

11 comments:

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Ooooh, this was good. Srsly, this was hilarious. You guys are so like Ghost and I that its scary.

We MUST find Hoff for your husband.

Elle Himitsu said...

You should seriously go look at the music stores in the mall. They sell life size cutouts of all different people.

I will keep my eye out, though.

Mojo126 said...

Poor baby! Adorable!

ghost of keywork said...

Holy boomtang, Batmans, just don't hassle the hoff. I hate myself for typing that last bit.

for a different kind of girl said...

You make about 100 more of those, depending on your needs, and attach hangers to them, you can have some pretty damn fancy (and marginally creepy) closets. Just a thought.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I am totally obsessed with the Hoff...he's the person I list in my "People I would like to meet" on my myspace page. The Hoff is my Homeboy

Organic Meatbag said...

Hehehehe...that is cool...Hasselhoff would have kicked a new corn chute in Elvis anyway...

Petite G. said...

Hoff is good but Knight Rider? Fucking great! Hello? Kit? Come pick my drunk ass up from this party. And eject this bitch in the passenger seat. I have no more use for her.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Okay, this post just inspired me to download the theme song to Baywatch for my mp3 player. I loved that shit. That and Pacific Blue.

Rassles said...

From now on I want to go by Rasslehoff.

That Chick Over There said...

OH MY GOD. I love you more than LIFE ITSELF.