Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ousting Hobos From The Back Alley Party Zone

I'm always just a little wary when I see one of my bosses approaching my desk. I have three. One never asks for anything. The other two, well, you just never know what it is going to be next.

So when one of them started coming towards me yesterday, with that glint in his eye. The glint that said he was going to jack up my whole day, I started to tremble slightly. They always start with a, "Betttsssy!" The task at hand? Shutting down the hobo dance club that has formed behind my office. I mean, it's kind of rude to try to close this thing down. There is a filthy, cushionless couch and chair sitting right next to a dumpster. This? Is an obvious invite for hobos everywhere to come kick it with their brown sack booze and catch up on the hobo social scene. You know, complete with hobo paparazzi asking what Smokey is wearing today. Which is obviously urine caked, mismatched work boots and the latest in torn flannel. I mean, even I can see that. Oh and the valet out there, that parks the one bike that they pass around back and forth, which invariably leads to Smokey punching Patches in the gut when he wants his turn to bike around to check out the hobo ladies. Good thing Unicorn Jenkins is playing the role of bouncer or this could get out of hand.

Look, all I'm saying is far be it for me to go out there and bust up the hobo happening. You know? Instead? I think I might start leaving hobo delicacies in the garbage to help them out a little.

And obviously in my mind this is more like an episode of Tom and Jerry than of the back alley Kansas City homeless scene. You know with tuna can percussion and fish bone guitars. Cats banging garbage can lids to a groovy tune.

Anyway, I evidently am busy with very, very important things. So just look at these pictures and stay happy while I get my ass kicked by Toothless Joe and the Crusty Bunch.

My new hair cut:




The Dude when he wants his picture taken - CHEEESE!:



The Dude when he's done taking pictures looking not so much like a baby anymore:



Sunday baseball at the K. Where evidently we missed a brawl between the parents by mere innings. Complete with one parent kicking the shit out of the other parents head:

14 comments:

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Unicorn Jenkins is one dangerous bitch! Be warned.

That boy of yours is too cute for his own good...

kimberly-327 said...

Love the hair!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

You son is damned adorable. I think LittleMan has the same pyjamas, btw.

Miss Yvonne said...

Sounds like Smokey and Patches better get their shit together before Unicorn pops a cap in their asses.

The hair is fab, by the way. Is it still cool to say fab? If it's not, please substitute rad for fab. Because rad never goes out of style, yo.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

your hair looks adorable!

Gypsy said...

Unicorn Jenkins is terrifying. Must be the unsightly growth that keeps people in line.

You and your hair are gorgeous.

The kids and the hubs ain't bad, either.

Gwen said...

gorgeous. Love the hair. love it.

Rassles said...

You tell Patches his baby mama wants her buttons back.

Kat said...

CUTE haircut. Damned cute kids. Tagged you in my recent post, in case you feel inspired to talk about how awesome you are. Uh...some more. ;)

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Wow you are rocking that hair! Love it :)

for a different kind of girl said...

Sweet heaven but I love your haircut! My last haircut looks like it was actually the work of a hobo with one hand - his dominant hand, natch - mangled in a freak accident down at the industrial plant (any old plant will do) during a random temp job. Moral of the story? Don't let hobos cut your hair. Also, don't let my hair dresser cut your hair after she says "Hey! I've got a great idea I want to try and you'd be perfect for it!"

Yeah. I was the guinea pig. Lesson learned.

Wow, that was awkward said...

Is Hobo control in your job description? Sounds like it would be way more fun to hang out with them then bust 'em up.

Gwen said...

Your haircut is super cute!

Sarcastic Mom said...

No one that cute should be expected to bust up a bunch of hobos.

Badass back deck cocktail photo.