Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm An Asshole And It ACTUALLY Is News To Me

A little over a week ago I swore I would never guest post again. And I meant that. Because it's done not much more than bite me in my fat ass. But, then I was asked and of course I did.

I was asked to do another blog review and here's the thing about those reviews. They tear me up inside. Evidently, I'm way too kind of a person to love tearing someone a new asshole.

This time around, I wanted to love the blog. And when I clicked over and saw that the reviewee was sarcastic and funny I thought I went to freaking heaven.

Not so much.

In the course of reading every single post on her blog I discovered that not only did she liken Democrats to child molesters, but she nary went a day without making fun of overweight people.

She was coarse and shallow. She's spoiled and rotten.

And fuck!

I liked her.

Do I truly like her? No, probably not. I just don't give a big enough shit about how I look, what I wear or what anyone around me is wearing. I don't think calling people fat is a fucking riot nor am I concerned when said fatty wears a bikini.

I don't think that making fun of your Asian manicurist's grasp on the English language is funny because, hell, can you speak her language? Like at all? No? Right, she speaks two languages and you are making fun of her.

You are an ass.

So, at first I was torn up because I laid into her and called her a spoiled twat.

Which I stand by.

Wholeheartedly.

But then? Then I kept reading and reading and reading. I read the whole fucking thing.

And I liked her.

And that tore me up inside even more.

I would have a beer with this broad.

Because, evidently, I'm an asshole.

24 comments:

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Ooooh, the Booms gets mean in a review? I can't wait to read it.

And I knew all along you were an asshole. Its one of my favorite qualities about you. Actually, the fact that you're an asshole that feels bad about being intentionally mean to someone else is the endearing quality that I like.

kimberly-327 said...

You know...you can't say shizz like this, and NOT want me to read this person's blog.

And that's a really good point about the manicurist. Probably one that most people don't consider nearly enough...

Betsey Booms said...

Thanks, DPH, I'm an asshole with a conscience.

And Kimberly - I know. Most people don't think of that, we're just annoyed.

Immoral Matriarch said...

"I don't think that making fun of your Asian manicurist's grasp on the English language is funny because, hell, can you speak her language? Like at all? No? Right, she speaks two languages and you are making fun of her."

Bravo!

You're not an asshole. If you're an asshole jesus christ..wtf am I....?

Miss Yvonne said...

You know what's scary? I also used the word "asshole" in my blog title today. There's all kind of assholey-ness going around.

I need to read this person's blog. Please please please with sugar and assholes on top, send me the link.

Gwen said...

You're very brave for reviewing again. When the time comes for my review, I would love to get you. Because I think your reviews are honest and well-written. I promise I wouldn't whine :)

mongoliangirl said...

Oh, what is this? Mental gymnastics? Yes, yes I think it is. The hallmark of a person who speaks her mind. And thinks. And is really, really smart and has a heart.
This kind of thinking and re-thinking is, to me, a sign that you are amazing.
Thanks Betsey. It does me good knowing people like you are out there.

Hit 40 said...

I guess - this is kind of like life. As women, we have a hard time ignoring the faults of our friends - racist, shallow, child neglect (at least in my opinion), etc. But, I decided a while ago that I would have to look the other way a little. Or I would have no friends. And, my friends look the other way at my faults - for the most part.

Stesha said...

....Aren't we all assholes? Go have a beer with the chick and call it a day:)

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Scandalous Housewife said...

We are ALL assholes, in our own special way. And sluts and bishes.

Bridget said...

Welcome to the I Know I'm an Asshole Club. We start drinking heavily and obnoxiously every day day at at 5:45 p.m. Please don't be late. It's rude.

ajillofalltrades said...

Cheers to assholes!!

We are all bitches. Most of us just won't admit it.

Hippo brigade said...

I think that I want to be in love with this blog too! I mean assholes and twats, spoiled and rotten are right up my alley. Bring on the beer.
Cheers!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Are you a follower now? Just kidding.

Rassles said...

I'm so back and forth on assholery.

Betsey Booms said...

I think that's a key part of being an asshole, Rassles.

At least that's what I'm going with.

hereinfranklin said...

I read your review and I think it was spot on. I also appreciate the fact that you read every post on her blog. I couldn't get past her whining about her 42" tv. She's a douche.

Betsey Booms said...

H.I. Franklin - Thank you! I put a lot of time and fretting into it. I wanted to be as fair as possible.

I just couldn't get over the fact that such a privileged person could complain so much.

Candice said...

Betsey- I thought it was a kick ass review.

Let me know the next time you're hanging out in Texas. I'll take you up on that beer! BTW, martinis suck!

Betsey Booms said...

Candice - You better be careful there!

Read your email.

Lisa..... said...

"I don't think that making fun of your Asian manicurist's grasp on the English language is funny because, hell, can you speak her language? Like at all? No? Right, she speaks two languages and you are making fun of her."

Does that mean it's not funny that I suppressed a laugh in class each time my teacher said rerorution (instead of revolution)?

Jessica Gottlieb said...

Oh gosh, was it me?

prayingtodarwin said...

I have friends, not necessarily my best friends, but friends, nonetheless, whose occasional behavior revolts me. Apparently, my standards for I'll-Have-a-Drink-With-You-Ability are not that high. And I don't really worry about it.

Calamity said...

Your review was awesome. I hope you don't swear it off again.

I really try to give a constructive reviews over there without denigrating into being mean just to be mean, you know? Some people deserve the flaming fingers, but others are just looking for how they can do better. And if you can spin it in a funny/snarky way without hitting below the belt needlessly, all the better. It's a fine line, though.