Edited: This is me blogging from Florida again...

Just so you know, when the airline says they need to check your baggage 45 minutes before your flight, they mean 45 minutes and totally not 43.

Also? When I call a jackass behind the counter at the airport a 'mother fucker', I mean he fucks his mother and totally not 'dude, you're kind of a jerk'. At least at that moment I did. In retrospect? He was just kind of not helpful and I was a tad tired.

And when they say, "sit in the airport all day waiting for standby", they mean ALL DAY and they don't care if your 21 month old is teething and your 9 year old is crying. Or that my husband's head was actually steaming or that I was seconds away from somes serious shin kicking/kung fu shanking action.

They also don't care if anyone has new client meetings for a company they are trying to launch today or if anyone has to work tomorrow.

When Jason says, "Fix it douchebag! You already changed our flights once on us." He means, "Seriously douchebag, don't make me jump across this counter and bite your nose off all crazy Hannibal Lecter style. I'm from Alberta, Canada, bitch!"

And when they concede and say they will do it, what they mean is you won't get back home until buttass late the next day.

Suckers.

And when I put that extra day on the calendar at work to recover from the trip? I had no freaking clue.

PS - Had a dream last night that I was fighting demons with Joaquin Phoenix. We had a super awesome demon fighting team and we all got new cell phones to make our demon fighting as crazy high-tech as possible.

Because obviously, cell phones are what you need to fight demons and not weapons of any kind.

Obviously.