Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm Totally Freakhogging Out Over Here

My sister just texted me to find out exactly what it is about her niece that prompted my "Oh Gawd, Not Puberty!" freak out.

And in texting back my response I T9'd the word 'freaking'.

My response was this:

I am freaking out. And why was freakhog a word in my phone but freaking was not?

She had the same issue and my English teacher sister told me she was not even aware that freakhog is a word. Are we the last people to realize that freaking isn't a word but FREAKHOG is? Apparently so, because the Urban Dictionary totally has already worked it's magic and made it real. The first definition looking very much like one my sister and I may or may not have created.

1. freakhog

Perhaps the finest word ever invented by a cell phone. While trying to write freaking on my phone in its t9word mode, I was blessed with this fine nugget. There were no options, just freakhog.
Sorry I didn't call you earlier, I've been so freakhog busy.

2. freakhog

verb, noun. 1. to throw a major tantrum, usually unjustified. To spazz out in anger without violence, but with verbal aggression. 2. someone who is "freakhogging" can also be referred to as a "freakhog".
Dad, don't freakhog on me. I apologize; my father is being a freakhog.

Which is ironic because I was being a complete spazzmatic freakhog about puberty. Monkey could be all, "My mom is such a freakhog." I also would have called it a "wolf nugget" and not a "fine nugget", but whatever.

My sharpie and drawing hand are getting an itchy trigger finger. I feel "The Adventures of Freakhog" coming on. Please know Freakhog will have some other weapon other than my tired-ass shiv. He may or may not be on a mission for the church of LL Cool Jesus. You have to wait to find out. Just when I thought I was uninspired, in stepped FREAKHOG!

Also? I think that Joaquin's name may be changed to J.F.H. Phoenix. That's what I picture a freakhog to look like.

Illustrations to come.


Gwen said...

Yay! Now there's a word for what I've been doing all these years. Freakhogging. Also, I can't wait to see your Freakhog illustrations. Maybe you should write a children's book. I would buy it.

Miss Yvonne said...

This post is freakhogging hilarious! Please draw Freakhog with a pig nose.

Johnny Truant said...

Get this. I'm sending a Twitter DM today and Firefox's spell checker doesn't recognize the word "imposter." And I'm like, "Hey, dickbag! That's a word! And a really common one, too!" And Firefox is all stoic and doesn't say anything. So I go to Google and Google it (which is appropriate at Google and it's totally a word, but Firefox is making me look like I'm spelling retarded and it's totally messing me up like I'm in some kind of alternate reality oh Jesus.

Sheri said...

I am highly anticipating your installment of the Freakhog!

KaritaG said...

The best T9 spelling I ever saw on my phone was "pornpity" instead of "sorority." WTF?! You know someone programmed that one on purpose. How the hell is pornpity a word but sorority is not?

KaritaG said...

Oh, and BTW, I am disappearing for a while and/or changing my username. Evidently someone is searching google for my username to find comments, hello, cyberstalker...I'll email you or something.

Gwen said...

This has me freakhogging crying. I've missed you! :)

shalala said...

T9 also spells "cat" as "act", "home" as "good", "add" as "bed", and "bomb" as "boob".