I'm Kind Of Funktified

I'm thinking it's mostly because it's Monday, but that just makes me a whiny a-hole, because seriously, if you do something like look at Twitter or even open your ears at work, everyone is complaining about this shit and really? Didn't complaining about Monday go out of style with Garfield? Lazy-ass cartoon cat.

It could also be because I spent roughly 2.5 hours cleaning floors in my office yesterday only to have them be covered with dusty little footprints again by approximately 8:05 am. And that is because I evidently work with a whole slew (not half a slew, but a whole one) of butt faces that were born in non-footwiping barns. And yes I feel inherently better when I say something as mature and role-modelish as butt face.

Truly though there is something that is probably contributing even more to the Funkitification of Betsey Booms (which you know I'm funky if I'm speaking in third person because that is for suckers). If you know me then you know I freaking love burritos. I would eat burritos every day of my life were I not already eating tacos or chocolate. Burritos are the food of the Gods and if there is one thing that I could eat every.single.Monday it's a farking burrito. Monday's bring on the weekend hangover. Monday's should be renamed Methadoneday (who knew I could reference Methadone so many times in a week? And if you say Methadoneday out loud, it's just fun and Spanishy sounding). The one thing I love for a hang-over is hands down a burrito. So when my boss sheepishly walked up to my desk and pulled the old "I hate to ask and it's outside the realm of your job description" bit and sent me on an errand to come back with freaking FIVE burritos in less than half an hour, I basically wanted to stab myself in the eye because not one of those FIVE burritos would be sliding down my sleepy, hating life throat.

I realize there are bigger problems and worse days, people, but this is MINE! And because of this I'm going to be a big, whiney loser and continue to butcher the English language with my mostly's, seriously's and poorly thought out run on sentences. That? And I'm rebelling by changing my blog design while I'm AT WORK.

So take my passive aggressive shit and move on buddy!

Yeah, I showed them.

Oh and PS - I would love to hear this post in a dramatic reading fashion, because then we'd really see how self-involved and ridiculous it is.