Sunday, January 4, 2009

The End Is Here

My 12 glorious days of vacation are now officially coming to an end. Monkey is back home after visiting her dad's family for a week and my son has slept in until 9:00 the last two days. Every other day? He was up at 6:30.

Thank you kid. Way to get the hang of it just in time to send me back to work.

And because the snot gods like to grace me with all their preciousness, his nose in incredibly snotty. By incredibly, I mean it's unstoppable. It's like the snot dams and levies gave way and now snot must runneth over. All over. I swear, if I have to call into work tomorrow, my first day back, I'll cry. Or celebrate...

Heavily. Whatever.

Just so you know, you should be recognizing that today is going to soon be declared a national holiday. Because today is "Rip Someone Else's Face Off Day" in my house. First Crazyman tried to simultaneously rip Monkey's nose, ear and half her head of hair off in one fell swoop. Then while he was trying to hug and kiss our 5 pound Yorkiepoo, she suddenly evoked the spirit of an ill-bred pit bull and tried to eat his bottom lip clean off his face. Which is why I'm sporting a baby blue argyle and blood sweater.

Also? At one point today my daughter declared that "he sat on my teeth!" While I realize that Crazyman likes to straddle her head while she lays on the floor, it's his favorite TV watching position, I'm really thinking that if he indeed did sit on her teeth, he really got the raw end of that deal, she just got the ass end.

Jason has spent the last day and a half tiling our hall bathroom. I don't know how any room that is like 6 inches by 8 inches big could take that much time and effort but what I do know that it looks gorgeous. My faceless children will truly love their new bathroom floor which was a necessity because I don't know about you, but to me, the idea of potty training a boy in a bathroom with carpet seems soggy at best.

With that I'm off. My hair ripping, face sitting, bottom lip-less kid just woke from his nap. Which means I have snot to mop.


Pam said...

I'm so not looking forward to going back to work. Not one little bit. Not even to get away from the snot, vomit, screaming, biting, hair pulling, crying, hiting, and whatever else might come up at any point in time. Oh, and....again, our boys...what is with them and their being cosmically link? Riley loves to sit on his sister while watching tv- and often I wonder if I will need to move to West Virginia because it just isn't looking right!

Rassles said...

And, lip-less children look way better in a well-tiled bathroom.

Lily's Mommy said...

I'm only going back to class but I am not in the mood. Although, getting my husband out of the house and back to work has rocked. I've never seen anyone so tired after sitting on their ass for 12 hours a day playing on the computer. Not that I'm bitter.

I'm glad your bathroom looks good. Is Crazyman okay? I'd kill the bitch that hurt my baby.