You Can Thank Me Later For My Awesomeness And Kind Greetings

Let me tell you about some things that suck a nut sack today (and yes, I kiss my mother with this mouth). First of all, my child decided to haunt my bed last night starting at 12:30. Randomly throughout the night he would just squawk and squeal and I'd have to remind him that I could easily put him back into his on bed and suddenly, like a Christmas miracle he was oh so quiet. Well, until he threw a giant baby fit and fell out of the bed. It was that point that I realized that I should have felt badly for him but I only managed to feel badly for myself. I'm just that fantastic. Okay, I did feel bad for him too. He's really cute.

After sleeping for 30 minute increments throughout the night I finally fell into a deep sleep, and I'm guessing here, at about 4:45 - 5:00 this morning. At 5:30 the phone rang (and rang and rang) until I hopped out of bed to get it. When I got to the kitchen and put my hand on the receiver, guess what? That's right, the bitch stopped ringing. So I grabbed my cell phone and went back to bed. I fell back asleep. 10 minutes later the house phone rang again. Mother bitch! So I flew out of bed and grabbed the phone, saying, "WHAT?!" It was Monkey's school, nicely letting us know that school was not in service today. And that, my honey children, is when I looked outside to see the snow falling.

Snow that was supposed to be a dusting this afternoon falling in mass at 5:30 in the morning. This is where I stopped and pondered how big of a shit I actually gave. Do I dutifully get going now or do I go back to bed and roll out later at a more human time?

And then that is when I realized it. Evidently, I just don't give a shit.

An hour and a half later when it took me 20 minutes to go 1.5 miles, I gave a big shit then. Two hours later when I got to work only to be told to book some flights for Las Vegas for OTHER people, told that one of our tenants had no heat, told that the front door keeps blowing open every 1.5 seconds, I was back to not giving a shit.

And now, me and my potty mouth are sitting here, half frozen, having forgotten to take my meds, telling you all of this. So you've been schooled on just what it is that sucks a nutsack today.

You're welcome.

So tell me? Anything suck for you today? Let it out!