Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Why Being Home With My Kids Rocks - Day 1

It's not even 11:00 am yet today and already Crazyman has had breakfast, a bath, a make-shift lunch, a handful of crackers, a cup of milk, a cup of water, half my Diet Coke (well, actually, his t-shirt got that, all over the front of it), a bite of sugar cookie and has ripped the rubber end off the door stopper 12 different times. Only to bring it to me each time and declare that it must be put back on NOW! He didn't use so many words but his body language was very clear. I didn't know that at 19-months his manual dexterity and middle finger could be so developed.

His sister has said "no, stop it" no less than 357 times. I told her if I heard the word 'no' again, then I would be saying it to Santa Claus myself as in "No toys for my kids!"

She then pouted and displayed her incredibly poor sitting posture on the couch. To which I reminded her that the song clearly says, "no pouting" I also added that I think it originally said, "No slouching" as well but was edited out later in the remix. She then edited me out by shutting down and glazing over in true tweentard fashion.

While putting away laundry this morning I very clearly heard this come out of the living room, "No buddy, we don't stick crayons up our nose." Quickly, I took the crayon out of my nose and started stomping and then threw myself on the ground and screamed. I was just about to declare that, "Nobody understands me!" and "You're all assholes!" when I suddenly realized she was talking to her brother.

It's amazing how quickly you give into the locals ways, isn't it?

Anyway, I've had one whole Diet Coke and 1/4 of a flat, shaken up and dumped out Diet Coke. I have one more in the fridge and I'm eyeing it but I'm also eyeing the bottle of vodka too, so that's not saying much.

With one kid down for a nap and the other wrapping up her presents for the family, I await my husband's arrival home from work.

He really should be sharing in all this Holiday Joy with me.

Don't you think?


Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

LMAO, oh that's just too awesome. Seriously. Great post.

I wish I were home today. I feel like a terrible parent because my daughter has been at a friends since Monday, she's going away tonight, and then on Friday she's going to be gone until Monday the 5th!!!

Oh well...Merry Christmas, right?!

Pam said...

I thought for a minute you were talking about my day- only mine involved a trip to the grocery store in freezing rain because I didn't have any food for lunch- I'm an awesome mom like that. And- you just reminded me to go do the freakin' laundry- darn it!

rubyredruca said...

I am not looking forward to the 18-month old freak outs. 2 is so much better!!!!

That Chick Over There said...

I just love you.

Hedon said...


He dumped half your Diet Coke down his shirt?!

"That's it! You are so grounded Mr Man! You just sit in that chair and think about how mommy is supposed to survive the day with you bogarting her Diet Coke."

Hope you all have a very merry one!

Betsey Booms said...

Hedon - Seriously - bogarting mommy's crack is so against good baby etiquette. What the hell, right? I need to take a class in raising my children evidently.

Chick - Love you too, Chica.

Ruby - Yeah girlie, you're starting all over again. I promise, it's so easier the second time.

Pam - I have a feeling our the soundtrack to our houses if very similar.

DPH - I totally understand, Monkey is gone all next week with her dad's family. It's so sad.