Wednesday, July 23, 2008

What It Is

A quarter to five this morning my eyes popped open. My head was heavy with the dull thud of realizing it feels like my life is falling apart. It's not. I just feel that way because my son's whole life is going to be changing.

As I laid there, stressing beyond what should be considered reasonable I remembered, for no relevant reason this little girl I played with as a child. In my memory she looks very much like Rudy from the Cosby Show. At the time we lived on a very busy street. Our house had a large front porch that I can remember playing on and watching the cars go by. From across that busy street this little girl suddenly appeared and asked if I could play. I remembered begging my mom to let her play.

She did.

And you know what? That kid was a total shit head. My mom had just bought me an awesome tube of bubblegum that looked like a toothpaste tube (how I miss the 80's) and this little bitch told me she'd tell my mom something bad if I didn't give it to her. I remembered thinking that my mom would never believe her but always wanting to avoid conflict I let her have it anyway.

And then?

I watched as she chewed a huge gob of it for a while, then pull that gob out of her mouth and shove it back into the tube to save it for later.

Bubble gum stealing buttface.

I was digusted and when I told my mom she was mad and asked why I did that? I had no good reason and then my mom said she was a jerk.

This has nothing to do with anything other than the insanity that permeates my mind as I lay awake.

When I got Crazyman to his sitter this morning. I got some great news. His friend Trey, who is exactly 20 days older than Crazyman - his mother is going to start her own in home daycare and is willing to take his current sitter's clientele. This means we wouldn't have to split up Crazyman, Trey and Braydon - AND? Trey lives in the same neighborhood as we do and as Braydon does and pretty much directly in between both of our houses. We all live about 3-4 blocks from each other.

I hesitate to celebrate this because it seems too awesome.

And in retrospect I guess the memory of the bubble gum stealing buttface came to my mind because I was feeling so screwed over.

If I had it to do over? I would have shoved her off my porch and taken my gum back. And then promptly thrown it in the trash because, dude? That shit is nasty.

10 comments:

KaritaG said...

That's awesome that your sitter situation worked out SO WELL! And that last part sounds like you are getting out of your yesterday-funk and back to your sassy self, hmmmm?!

Baby N's Mom said...

Good to know that another baby-sitter crisis was mostly avoided. Poor Crazyman! Sounds like it'll all work out in the end.

Anne said...

"Bubble gum stealing buttface" Love it and hell to the yes for the babysitter crossing my fingers for you that it works out.

Kellie said...

That? Is fantastic!!

The gum? Yeah, totally sucks.

Jan-o-rama said...

Yay! Glad that situation worked out. Karma for the buttfaced gum stealer would be a room full of gum and no teeth left to chew it. :)

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

bubble gum stealing buttface...LMFAO.

Hopefully the new sitter doesn't ask for a significant raise in fees...but so glad it worked out well!!!

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pam said...

yeah for the sitter issue working out! That is great. I am hoping this one is the best one yet and lasts for a long time for you.

Robyn said...

I was TOTALLY traumatized when I moved Bear from big-establishment-franchised day care to in-home daycare (right across the street). It took him about 1 1/2 days to get used to it and he hasn't looked back since.

It's US (the moms) who can't adapt, not our little men. So glad it sounds like it's going to work out in the end.

And I loved the bubblegum story. Classic.

Kat said...

Holycrap, I'm relieved for you and Crazyman. SO awesome that he'll be with his buddies... and its close. I felt your panic about changing everything up. Again.

That bubblegum bitch? Reminds me of the little lying bitch who stole my sticker collection. Would it be fun to look them up online and take a road trip just to punch them in the face? Or would it just be sick?