Wednesday, June 24, 2009

BoomTube, Episode Five, Just go to your room and don't come out until you can apologize, missy/mister

Let me apologize upfront for the use of the word "awesomosity", repeatedly. As well as the "fingerbanging" wink and sound. I. Am. So. Stupid.

Look, I said right up front that I'm undermedicated. You totally deserved that and you know it. Okay, I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry. Jeez.

Things I have to say, the "sponsors" demand it:

RainyDaze79 Twittered: Shout out to Austin and are they real?

So uh shout out, Texas people and the answer is real expensive. I feel uncomfortable just typing 'shout out', saying it would probably do psychological damage. I'm fragile you know. Like a animal testing lab monkey. You never know when I'm going to blow and bite your face off with my freakish teeth, ala Outbreak.

I've not actually watched that movie, so if that was inappropriate, I'm again, apologetic. I read a book titled 'Outbreak', I enjoyed it. I'm not sure if the movie is based on the book, but the rule is, if the book was good, the movie ain't. So why chance that shit? I'm not a gambler with things like big chunks of time.

Also? I just looked up the plural of vagina, because I needed to know if there was a bag of them sitting next to me on the couch if I would say, "Oh, look at that bag of vaginae" or perhaps, "Oh, look, there is a bag of vaginen." Oh there is that gambling with chunks of time thing.

So, Miss Merry said: It's valium time.

Okay yeah. Looks like it. Care to send me any? The answer to that is... no. No, you won't, because if you have it, you keep that shit to yourself. It's like the land of milk and honey. I know that doesn't make sense, but it makes sense to me. And NOOO OOOONNNNE else around here pays attention.

Obviously. Ahem.

You can watch The Dude get "Hasseled" by the Hoff. And, of course, you can look at boobs until your heart explodes. (I'm still number 24.)

Oh, come back, I still love you...

But less than I did before. My heart grows stingy.

Wait, does stingy grow? Eh.


Rassles said...

Oh, you stealing awesomosity all for yourself, now? And LOGGINS?


I'm taking that list of awesome we created and totally starting a sidebar blog project. Suckah MC's got nothin' on this.

Betsey Booms said...

I gave you credit for awesomosity yesterday.


Ooooh, sidebar of Awesome.

Rassles said...

It's going to be rotating.

Wait--no--you should do it too.

This week? Loggins.

Next week? Stiles.

Betsey Booms said...

We'll do this. (I just did the cool head nod/nudge towards you.)

You cue up what each week's sidebar of awesome will be and I'll make the button for it!

Xjaeva said...

Fuck you too, Betsey!

I totally would have gone for one your awesome blog designs. But I'm a very flaky blogger and only post crap poetry and horribly told stories. And usually not even that. So I didn't seem worth your talents.

Doc said...

Love the classic 'wink and the gun'

Gypsy said...

When unicorns become all popular and shit y'all are going to be so embarrassed because I totally liked the first.

This has nothing to do with anything, though.

What I'd really like to say is I really liked this week's BoomTube, but it kinda lacked in the boobage department. And I very much did Twitter you while you BoomTubed -- I said BOOMshakalaka, and I'm pretty sure that counts.

Elle Himitsu said...

My comment has nothing to do with anything you said today.

I love your rings and necklace.
You need to show us that shit up close and tell us all about it.

Also, I love your headband. It is so pretty! Where ever did you get it?

PS. I love you bitch, now go make me some butter with a side of butter.

miss. chief said...

what's up with the temper tantrum at the end of your video there?


Shawna said...

I like the way you get all up the camera when you say FUCK YOU. Really get gets your point across. I have voted for your bewbs daily. I don't twitter, tweet, whatever. I'm sorry.

I would think the plural of vagina would be vaginas. Like more than one dick - dicks, just add the s. But what the hell do I know. I don't even twitter.

Shawna said...

that would be:

all up "in" the camera

and delete get, only gets

see, what the hell do I know? I can't even proof read my shit, so if I missed any other errors - whatever

Vodka Mom said...

yeah. you're adorable.

IB said...

You mean you were giving away a free web-design? SHIT! How did I miss that?!

Anonymous said...

I do need a blog by YOU that is "anonymous" that would be awesomosity!...too hard to let it alllll out like you Betsey! I'm in awe of you! to let my ambien induced rampage be published.hmmmmm
you need to take on clients.

Hellbilly said...

I'm still laughing hysterically at the Hoff scaring the hell out of the little dude a couple of posts back.

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

While it is true that I have had quite the illustrious dog poop mail threatening career, you, dearest one, are the only Bewb Festian who actually got the DPM Threat related to the entering of bewbs to the contest.

See? You're SPECIAL like that.

*wink wink*

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I don't know how I missed the give-away either. Fuck.

And loving the shirt--I wanted to see the whole thing on you. LOL

As for Tom Bergeron? He is one sexy motherfucker. If you meet him, I am going to be so green with envy I'll be pissing leprechaun juice I'll be so green.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Had to come here and admit that I finally downloaded the theme song to Baywatch to my mp3 player. Damn fine song, that one.

ajillofalltrades said...

Sorry, hon...I was at work and couldn't get on. I think by the time I realized you were "currently filming" it was like an hour too late.

And people are assholes. I've tried to give away free shit before and no one wanted it. Not even brand new Baby GAP clothes!!!


Love the necklace!

BusyDad said...

You only THINK you were alone. You didn't happen to notice the masked figure lurking like a shadow behind the Hoff, did you? Ninjas. We know how to camoflauge ourselves to a Hoff background. This ancient art has come a long way.

Petite G. said...

Ok I've got about 600 Valium here at my house (don't ask) and I'd be happy to send some to you free of charge. Just email me your addy baby and they're as good as yours.

Love you and love my blog. Still.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

I heard Kenny Loggins is gonna be on the NASCAR thingie this weekend. Sounds like a rockin time, eh?

Hockey Girl said...

ok...dont laugh dph..I love my nascar! Like 2 drivers are on my "list" know..the "list"

Whats up Betsy?? Cant wait for another vlog. Happy 4th

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Yeah good call on the whole not sharing thing because I don't have a prescriptions so I hoard my little stash like...well like a crackhead...except I think a crackhead would probably do all the drugs in one sitting so I'm not sure that metaphor works. Hmmm...also I love your headband. I am now obssessed with headband since cutting my hair short because I think it looks gee-dee adorable to wear a headband with short hair!!

The End.

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

PS...I know how you love the elipsis...