Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The One I Almost Forgot To Title

Here is a shot of my kid when he opened his pony on Christmas:



And here? Is a close-up of his face:



And it's because of that very face right there that when he wakes up in the morning I practically maul him with kisses all over it and squeeze him until he pees just a little bit more. And it's because of that face that I don't even care that all I can smell is warm pee wafting from his pj's as I squeeze or that I'm kissing a mouth that smells just like salty snot pretzels.

Because I've probably grossed you out with that I'll go ahead and continue on with the fact that as I was going to bathroom this morning I was reminded of the time I walked out of the bedroom and found my daughter unwrapping my tampons one at a time and then gleefully tossing them across the living room.

When I asked her what she was doing she yelled, "Parachutes" with a giggle. And it was ironic that I thought of that parachute moment right then because I was also contemplating jumping off the toilet and plummeting to my death but I figured the drop wasn't long enough and I'd probably just end up with a sore neck or a sprained wrist.

When I was getting ready for work my husband said to me, "Am I going to have to hear this every day this week?" And it was then that I realized that I was vocalizing the fact that going to work today made me want to take a header off the toilet.

So I sucked it up, kissed the crap out of salty snot pretzel boy and carried on.

After all, there are more things to be bought, like ponies so that I can see that face again and not the one I see when I'm squeezing his peebody. Which by the way, he smells like pee when he wakes up so often that today his blanket which he calls "BEE" was given the name "Pee Pee" and when I told him to go "rub his pee pee on his sister" I realized just how wrong my life had really turned out but not before my husband gave me a weird look and totally told me I really shouldn't tell him to do that.

Whatever.

10 comments:

Captain Steve said...

Ew! His poor sister.

KaritaG said...

Awww, you guys are hysterical. And, salty snot pretzels is a perfect description of that smell. Seriously.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

LMAO. Don't you just love the smell of warm urine soaked diapers in the morning?

I got my fill of that yesterday. My boss had her 1 year old in the office all day who just wanted to sit on my lap and fuck with my desk. She smelled like pee.

ajillofalltrades said...

LMAO!! ahhhhh life's little golden moments....literally.

Aidan smells like pee when he wakes up, too. Sometimes when his diaper really isn't that full, which is weird.

Lisa..... said...

I totally remember the smell of pee in diapers. Thanks for that.

Pearmama said...

I once walked in on my daughter unsticking the backs off all my pantyliners and putting them on the wall, the tile, the vanity. She damn near went through the entire box--one of those jumbo boxes from Costco!! LOL

Pam said...

Riley often smells like pee in the am. The other day he tried to throw his blanket (that smells like pee) into the tub. It got wet and instead of washing it so the pee goes away, I just threw it in the dryer so it would be dry for bed. Oh, and on the way home from the beach this summer- I totally let my kids play with a box of tampons in the car so they would stop crying!

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Briana said...

Your little boy is so cute!! I'm still here, I just don't comment as much as I would like to! Hope you are having a good week!

Gwen said...

Is it ridiculously stalkerish to suggest you might have gotten those PJ's from Kohls? And weird, weirder still that my similar in age and similar in image son has the same ones?

Even weirder that our daughters have the same first name spelled differently??


I'm personally a little creeped out.

By myself.