The Fundamental Difference

Sometime last year the God's spoke and struck our house with lightening.

That's a tad dramatic. Actually, I'm not any kind of fancy scientist or even a plain, homely scientist, but I guess it actually hit the ground or our electric lines or something else my husband explained to me and I didn't absorb because all the bleach has stripped my working brain cells down to their barest.

Moving on from my short-comings, the effect of the lightening strike was minimal. As a matter of fact, we barely noticed when we got back from the store. That may have been the fatigue of battling the unattractive and not-so-bright patrons of the local discount store. I'm unsure. But the effect of the strike was that our clocks reset, our thermostat reset (which confused me with it's battery operation (big surprise, right? But okay), our cordless phone was fried (which was payback from the company account at the office supply store that may or may not have funded it, wait that was our phone that died before that one) and the Magnovox I had since before Monkeygirl was ever even born that we kept in the bedroom was totally baked. Done. Dead.

Of course it didn't hit when we were swimming in expendable income. That would mean it would have hit on like never. Instead, it took out my beloved TV that I'd been toting around through umpteen residences since I was 20. It was the first thing I ever charged on my first real credit card.

It wouldn't be the last.

So when we discovered the TV was doornail-like my hubs said, "let's go back to discount hell and get a new TV". The catch? It had to be cheap.

And it was.

We found a bigger TV on sale for $100. It was an essential dinosaur that actually creaked in protest when I watched the G4 channel because all that new fangled technology confused and frightened the caveman tubes within, but it was cheap, it was easy and it was BIGGAH!

Very quickly we learned a lot about that TV when one third of the screen was constantly red and another third of it was always green. Honestly, I kind of felt like I deserved it for letting my old TV die such a horrible, cruel death.

So for the last year, Crazyman and I have been watching the TV in it's raging Christmas colored glory and never thought much of it. It was a little annoying during puzzle time on Noggin when all three of the animals were different, but we dealt and it reminded me of the late 90's, known now as simply "the rave years".

And then? Sometime at the end of last week, Jason and I decided to cuddle up together and watch some TV in bed. The first night, he coped. He didn't say anything but I noticed he looked really uncomfortable. Like his manhood was compromised in some way. And I know I had just treated his manhood extremely well. The next few nights? He would watch the TV until I fell asleep and then he'd sneak to the basement to watch his big screen, claiming he didn't want to keep me awake. But given his propensity to flush the toilet with the bathroom door open at 11:30 at night, I wasn't totally buying that one. He'll microwave a burrito, loudly, at all hours, but watching TV while I snored was not happening.

Honestly, I'm sure he meant he didn't want to keep me up, but he also wanted to take a pee, eat a burrito and watch ARMAGEDDON in it's full glory. And a man should be able to do that in his own house. This is a rule. As well as the fact that wearing pants is optional while he did these things.

On Friday, he sent me an email with a link to Best Buy and a flat-screen, LCD TV that was on sale.

On Sunday? We bought a new TV for the bedroom. Sunday night? He was laying on the bed, watching TV while I dusted in there.

It was then I realized the fundamental difference in women and men. I would have watched that horrid television until the dis-colored screen died of old-tvheimers disease. My husband, would watch TV in the basement, dammit. I also realized that I had no clue how important the right TV is to a marriage. But seriously? When we are given engagement rings, men should be given engagement TV's. (Stick with me guys, I'll fight your fight. Elect me and you'll get anniversary recliners).

So I'd like to give a big up to Best Buy and Insignia for giving me my husband back. It's good to be cuddled. And with a built in DVD. Now? A mini-fridge nightstand, microwave in the headboard and a supply of burritos guarantees an exponential increase my "cuddle time".