Friday, July 18, 2008

At the End..

Of my Diet Coke guzzling day yesterday, I boldly declared that I was giving up on Diet Coke. I was done, done, done.

And I mostly meant it despite my husband's look of "oh shit" that he fearfully gave me.

This morning I was going to have just the one when I woke up. I felt guilty about it, but dammit, mama needed that shit. One DC down I marched down the stairs and up to the garage door. I walked out to my car to find my husband had left one sitting on the hood of my car for my ride to work. I took it, because it was sweet of him and I left it sitting, unopened in my center console.

I got to work and I was pretty sure I could make it through my 4-hour Friday work day.

And then?

Every time someone from my office started to speak the only thing going through my mind was "Gah, just fuck off already."

Very thinly, I veiled these thoughts with curt little answers all dripping heavily with sarcasm.

See the thing about saying I was going to give it up was that I was entirely good intentioned and really, I wanted to do it. And the reality is I'm a fat assed, Diet Coke addicted bitch.

I ran to the fridge about 5 minutes ago and grabbed a silver, icey can of all that is holy. I cracked that shit as fast I could and got that weird, painful lump that happens in my your throat and chest when you guzzle carbonation entirely too fast. It hurt, but that lump went down easier than it ever has before.

Fuck that shit, folks. I can't do it. I couldn't even make it like 12 lousy hours.

Now, keep in mind I was going to give up Dairy too... but I swear to Peter Rabbit that if I find myself jamming a bag of shredded cheddar down my throat I will jump off the nearest building. I'll do it. Don't say I won't!

12 comments:

KaritaG said...

Aw man, what are you thinking trying to give it all up at once...you have to cut back slowly, dear! And, good luck with that...I must say, as far as stimulant addictions go, diet coke is a relatively innocuous one, IMHO.

J said...

I agree with Karitag! Diet coke actually is counted as 0 points on the WW diet.

Dairy?? You NEED that, though.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Eh, as long as you drink it in moderation you will be fine! How much do you normally drink in a day?

Anne said...

There are worse things out there than DC..Don't beat yourself up over it I say.

Viva Scrapper! said...

Mmmm Diet Coke!

Allie Bear said...

I like soda as much as the next person (okay, not really bc I could totally never drink it again and be fine) but like J said, DC is 0 points on WW and if you opt for the non-caffinated variety then you can count it toward your daily water intake.
Basically what I'm saying is, you could be addicted to someting way worse than a zero calorie beverage...like crack!

Jan-o-rama said...

Knowing you have a problem is the first step. ;)
Add weight training 2 times a week to counter the effects soda has on your bones. Like everyone said it could be worse. I had a client who drank 12 cokes, not even diet- a day. She lost a ton of weight just doing that!

Sarah said...

I don't know if it'll work for you, but I started drinking fizzy water (i.e. carbonated mineral water) when I gave up diet coke because of being pregnant. There's no hit. None in the slightest. But it gives something to do with your hands and your mouth when your brain is cueing "Diet Coke! Diet Coke! Diet Coke!

Anonymous said...

life's too short I say Drink up~
You made my day!
candy

Robyn said...

Oooh, you tried to quit cold turkey? What about scaling back to 3 a day?

ajillofalltrades said...

People don't understand my addiction and obsession with Mello Yello. Yes I'm really addicted. Yes, it is the only thing I want to drink. EVER.

I laugh often about it, but then I have to get serious and say look, I can't live without it.

Don't ever give it up because you enjoy it. Cheers to you sister!!

Trouble said...

By the time you're my age, you'll have totally given up these delusions that you can live your life without caffeine and cheese. Bitch, please. What in the fuck were you thinking?