Thursday, June 26, 2008

Unsympathetic

Who gives a shit?

I find myself saying this so many times a day, I'm starting to think I have a weird syndrome. And perhaps I do. It's called being unsympathetic.

I have had to stop caring what other people think of me. I've spent the majority of my life always trying to live up to changing standards. I turned 30 and said enough already.

When I was younger my mother often uttered the words - who gives a shit. And I would be indignant and hormonal and declare loudly that I gave a shit and I thought it was sad that she didn't.

I often wondered where in her life did she get to be so numb that she simply didn't care.

And then? It hit me. Not caring really makes me happy. You hate my hair? Great. You think I have a fat ass? Me too, what else do you have? My attitude? Yeah, it's bad, real bad.

This is all fine and maybe even dandy, but now? Now, I listen or read other people's thoughts (don't assume I mean you) and I find myself saying it.

Who gives a shit?

I don't know what it actually means to give a shit. Why would you want a shit. Is it like take a shit and it kind of means the opposite?

Now I've ventured into crude. But you know what to do. Say it.

All I'm saying is that perhaps I'm too tired, too weary. Perhaps I'm too callous, too uncaring.

It's all not true, it's not. I care about my loved ones and my friends. I want to help and protect them. What I don't want to do? Is try to understand why they sweat the small shit (another of my mom's famous lines). Who cares about the post office lines? Who cares that Wal-hell is a bitch to navigate? What is the big deal about being angry all the time? This morning I honked at a lady because she sat through the green arrow light. At the time it was a big fucking deal. In retrospect, she was a moron, I know that still, but whatever. It didn't jack my whole day.

It was nice to hear my horn though. I don't honk that sucker enough.

Maybe I'm just gliding day to day. Maybe I should be more indignant or take a bigger stand.

But at the end of my day, when I lay in my bed, bone tired all I can think is:

Today I didn't give a shit and that rocks.

And if you see some nutcase just randomly honking their horn with a big, stupid grin on her face. Pay no mind. She's not honking at you. She's me and she's just happy to hear her horn.

Or something.

12 comments:

Lara said...

I always give a shit, and it pisses me off. I want to be more like you.

Today I am feeling spectacularly unsympathetic, and it's a good feeling. Except when I am unsympathetic, I am a bitch. But sometimes, even that is totally justified.

Confusing rambling, I know. But sometimes it's a good thing to celebrate don't-give-a-shittedness.

Satan said...

lol.
just for the record, I still LOVE your hair! But, I look so weird with bangs! :(
I totally get what your saying though. I used to care what people thought of me, now not so much, I even go out at 1am in my pj's with no make-up and slippers to the grocery store. (yeah I guess thats bad) and I so wouldn't have left my house a few years ago with out make-up, my hair did, heels.
I'm almost 30, so I guess I have grown out of trying to be perfect for everyone.

xoxo

Allie Bear said...

Yay for not giving a shit, I still do sometimes but for the most part, I could give a fuck. You have to do something pretty heinous for me to really care. Don't get me wrong, I bitch a lot but at the end of the day, nothing makes me lose sleep.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

i also don't give a shit. It's a very freeing way to live!

Sarah said...

Yeah, I hear what you're saying. But the world is FULL of people that don't give a shit. It's full of people that talk all the way through movies, park their cars on the sidewalk so you can't get past with your stroller, throw rubbish out of their car window, and at the bad end of the spectrum, punch their kids in public and forget their dogs when they go on vacation. I personally think this world we live in would be a lot better if more people gave a shit. The thing that makes us different to animals is being able to be empathetic and/or considerate. Call me old school on this issue.

Kat said...

Ok. LOL on liking to hear the sound of your horn. I get all worked up about what fucking morons people can be on the road & then I'm like... wow... I need to chill.

LOL also on "why would you want a shit".

I think... I don't give a shit means 'I care so little that I would not even give as much as one of my lowly turds for your cause'... or something.

Betsey Booms said...

Hey Sarah - thank you for reading and taking the time to think about it and share your thoughts.

However, I'm not that person. I'm the opposite of the person who does the rude things. Quite the opposite.

What I'm saying is, I don't give a shit because if I spent all my time caring about those rude people, that would be my whole life.

I am instead the person who says "Hey, could you move your cart?" And if they don't I move it for them and go on with my day.

Know what I mean?

LunaNik said...

You need give lessons.

Seriously, I need to learn how to be more unsympathetic. It's my biggest downfall.

KaritaG said...

I think the Betsy/Sarah distinction is, do you just not give a shit in general, or do you just not give a shit about stuff that's not your problem? That's what I say a lot - "not my problem." See, then you can still give a shit about the people you love, but not about stuff that's not your problem, like the jerks Sarah is talking about that also don't give a shit, but in a different way than Betsy...

Wow, I am putting way too much thought into this.

I like the sound of my horn, too, though. If I see you we can honk at each other.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I never give a shit either. Unless it's about Jason. Then I give too much shit.

Sarah said...

Betsey - I think I understand. Is it about how you react to people who are rude and don't care? But I wanted to say that I hope you didn't take offense at my comment. I'm a long-term reader and I know from what you've said about a lot of things that you're a kind, caring person who isn't rude. I think I misunderstood what you were saying. I apologise if I offended you :-)

Pare said...

This? Just brilliant. Here's to not giving a shit and being better off for it.