Monday, June 30, 2008

Thursday

This coming Thursday would be Jadon's third birthday.

Last night we were exhausted after a long weekend at the lake. Jason and I decided to lay about and watch a movie after dinner.

We chose 'Godsend'. The timing was really poor on our parts.

I cried for the first 15 minutes of the movie. Jason was just about to turn it off but I knew the tone would change.

I slept very little last night and this morning my heart hurts.

I didn't want Crazyman to go to bed last night and I didn't want to leave him this morning.

The busy-ness this week has in store for me is a secret blessing.

If only I could get rid of the steel band holding tightly around my chest. It just shocked me. It always does. I go about for time periods not thinking about it, not hurting and then...

Well, you know.

8 comments:

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how hard that is for you. Thank god you have such a busy week so that you're mind can be off of it.

XOXO

KaritaG said...

Awwww - what a way to end the weekend! It sounds like it makes you appreciate your crazyman even more, and like you have a lot this week to distract you, so...hey, I am trying to look on the bright side...anyway...

I'm sorry.

J said...

Hugs to you, honey. You know I love you!

Cuddly little Cactus said...

So sorry honey. :(

rubyredruca said...

I think time heals a little bit, but you will always remember and it will always sting. My in-laws had a similar situation forty years ago, and even though they've had two healthy boys since then, they still get upset about the little girl they lost.

So hang in there mama, we're all pulling for ya! Take all the time you need, and of course this time of the year you'll feel it a little more. I'd give you a big hug if I could.

LunaNik said...

Hugs, babe, lots and lots of hugs.

Allie Bear said...

I'm so sorry and I know this must be so hard on you. I can't imagine the healing process that you are going through but someday you will find peace and I hope that day comes soon for you.
Hugs,
Allie

Chickie said...

I love you to pieces and would give anything to take away this pain.