Friday, May 16, 2008

More Random...

...because I have nothing else.

My kid played the role of Satan in his own one man show about the depths of hell, all night last night. Manshee with it's balls in a vice grip doesn't begin to describe the sound coming out of his little bear head.

For three fucking hours.

I was not amused. He was not explaining himself with anything more than a wail and a swatting away of the bottle I viciously and horribly tried to shove in his face.

Seriously, does this look like the face of evil he presented himself to be:

Okay don't answer that.

After a baseball game most of the afternoon and then my kid's softball game last night, I'm ball gamed out for a few days.

At the game we sat in front of this intensely funny mother/son couple with horrible southern accents. I mean, they sounded like fake accents.

Things I heard come from them while sitting there:

Mother: This is a goooood hot dog.

Son: mmmmm hmmmm

M: This hot dog is mmmm hmmmm good.

S: It sho is.

M: I know I keep saying this, but the hot dog is darn good.

S: mmmm hmmmm. If you get a little of that cheese with the bbq sauce... Mmmmhmmm...

M: Not me, I like my dog just the way it is.

S: Last time I came here, So and so and I got a bucket of chicken and two boxes of fries and we just ate and ate until we about fell asleep. That chicken was goooouuuud.

M: Mmmmhmmm, that's the way to do it.

S: Fo' Sho.

Honestly, I was looking around for hidden cameras because nobody really talks like this? Do they?

Well they did, the entire game. And the only thing to tune them out was the gaggle of tweentard girls sitting in the section next to us, throwing shit at each other the entire time, while the mother 'chaperoning' them was listening to her ipod and sending text messages to some fortunate person who was not sitting there.

It sounds like a horrible time, but really it was so nice just to go and sit in the sun with my husband and none of our kids for 4 hours. It was warmer than they thought and it was a great day.

With that, today I have to bleach my hair and make cupcakes for Crazy Man's first birthday tomorrow. He can't have his mother looking like 'Found In A Dumpster Barbie' with her nasty roots in his pictures, can he?

Have a good one folks.


Janis said...

Yep, they really do sound like that here in the South. My favorite is my father in-law "Mmm Hmmm that right there is some good eatin'. I tell you what buddy"

Yee haw!

Kat said...

LOL - "tweentard". Did you make that up? I'm totally using it.

Immoral Matriarch said...

Were they fat? They sounded fat...

LOL @ tweentards.